Photo from Bandarban Trip, November 2024
From my life experiences, I’ve realized that two key behaviors are significant red flags when evaluating someone’s ability to form and sustain genuine friendships. These behaviors are telling and crucial to consider when deciding whether to keep specific individuals close in our personal lives.
People who try to Buy Time in friendship
Friendship, at its core, is built on mutual respect, trust, and shared experiences. However, there are people who attempt to buy your time, treating the bond as a transactional relationship. Whether it’s through offering favors, gifts, or perks to “hang-out,” this behavior indicates a lack of understanding of what true companionship means.
Friendship cannot and should not be purchased. When someone tries to commodify your presence, it shows that they value your time as an asset rather than cherishing the connection for what it truly is. Relationships rooted in transactions often become hollow, lacking the emotional depth and trust that make them meaningful. This is a clear red flag—one that signals it’s best to steer clear of such individuals
People without Long-Lasting friendships
Another important indicator is the duration and depth of a person’s friendships. If someone, by the age of 30, does not have at least 3 genuine friends with whom they’ve maintained a bond for at least 60% of their life (18 years out of 30), it suggests an inability to build and sustain meaningful relationships.
Long-term friendships require commitment, empathy, and resilience to withstand life’s inevitable ups and downs. A lack of such relationships may point to a pattern of superficial connections or an inability to nurture bonds over time. While everyone’s social journey is unique, a complete absence of longstanding friendships often reveals a deeper issue
Both of these red flags—transactional friendships and a lack of enduring bonds—are telling signs of a person’s relationship skills. True friendships are built on loyalty, shared experiences, and mutual care, not convenience or material exchanges. By recognizing these behaviors, we can make better choices about the people we surround ourselves with, ensuring that our relationships are enriching and genuine.
