January 28, 2021. Thursday evening.
Not Monday, but Thursday is Funday for many of us in Bangladesh. When I was getting out of the office, I was thinking, ‘what’s tonight?’ Book, movie, working for our club, or nothing? I was thinking and stepping towards my friend Mehedi Shamim’s Tailor marketing office, my recent hangout zone. I got Akib, co-founder of Tailor, in the office. He had the same question for me that, ‘what’s in this weekend?’ I realized I need to go to the sea! Samudra calling! I called my US Bangla friend right away to check Dhaka to Cox’s morning flights for tomorrow. Luckily, got a ticket for the 7:30 AM flight on next morning.
January 29, 2021. Friday.
It was difficult to say either winter is over or it’s still winter. But it was a foggy morning. Our flight got delayed for an hour due to the weather. I was reading a book on ‘platform revolution’ by Geoffrey G. Parker. Back in my mind, I was thinking everyone is trying to make things better. The book, platform revolution is about making things better too. So, as a person, ‘how we could make ourselves better?’ I Landed in Cox’s Bazar safely. It was a sunny morning.
I parked my bag and baggage in the apartment of my ex-colleague (Rasel Bhai). Had a light breakfast and went to the beach directly. I found the beach calmer than ever. The sea is always a canvas of thoughts to me. So, ‘how to be better?’
People are nowadays sitting for 9.5 hours on average and 7 hours sleep. Sitting is new smoking for our generation. I think everyday gathering (addabazi), executive functions, confidence, and stress management can make us better. Of course, there are a few more which could make us better as well. I will be focusing on these things ahead. I always write and say what I believe. This is all about my thoughts, perceptions, and experiences. Let’s start with ‘how everyday gathering can make use better?’.
So, how to make the everyday gathering more meaningful?
Every gathering is social contact. Group conversation/ gathering is essential in life, but the purposes of the gathering are very important. Every gathering should have a particular purpose. Before inviting people in gathering purpose should be decided. Before asking the guest, that must be determined based on the host’s need, ‘what is important now in my (host’s) life?’ and ‘who can help now?’.
Don’t need to avoid controversial talk in the gathering. Good controversy is another rule which could make the everyday crowd better. Good controversy is an idea that helps to understand something better. Helps to make a decision. Discussions/ questions that are people care about. Good controversy allows people to know what they believe together. You always don’t have to do things you think to do.
If it’s lunch or dinner then, keep away sex, politics and religion at the table. Set some rules for the gathering. Example; phone etiquette- make none of your guests picks calls or texting in dining.
I moved to Marmeid resort for having my lunch. My friend Oishi joined me there. She works for an International NGO here. I always love this place for so many reasons in Cox’s Bazar. We spent the afternoon there. Then, I started for Tekna, to Rasel Bhai and Riza apu’s home. It was in the evening. I hired a private car and enjoyed the journey a lot from Cox’s to Teknaf via marine drive. I had my dinner with Rasel Bhai and Riza apu, and their son. I know these two persons for almost a decade! I met Rasel Bhai in the Child Parliament session. Then we got the opportunity to work for Save the Children as colleagues.
January 30, 2021. Saturday.
Rasel Bhai managed a ticket for me from Teknaf to Saint Martin. I have started in the morning. My ship was at 9 AM sharp. Riza apu dropped me in nearby the ship. We started on time. That was my first journey in the Naf River, even towards Saint Martin. I got a nice seat near the window. I saw Pankauri, Naf River, Teknaf, Myanmar, and I was thinking about using executive function and ‘how that can make us better in life?’
Executive functions
Executive function means having a goal to achieve something. And, yes, we do it regularly. Executive functions must be influenced by the context. For example, being a young professional, one should not have a goal to buy a car within a year. Understanding the context is essential. If we can build a surround to practice something common, then this would be great. For example, losing weight XX Kg by YY days and joining a group where everybody runs for an hour daily. We must have goals in our life—short time, long times, and in between. Without having a proper environment, we could not use executive functions. Yes, the environment supports us to utilize executive functions.
That was my first journey in the sea. Sitting alone near the window, I was trying to understand the depths, kindness, and beauty of the sea. We reached Saint Martin safely.
I got a beautiful room in a cottage there. I could see the sea from my window. There was a beautiful place to read books in the coconut garden. I spent quality time there by reading the book “Straight from the Guts” by Jack Welch.
I got out from my cottage to roam around Saint Martin in the evening. I walked for almost two hours on the beach. I found Saint Martin very different from Cox’s. Very calm. I’ve experienced the calmness of the sea with a beautiful twilight.
The night was really unexplainable with the moon. I joined in a BBQ (fish) party with another group. When I returned to my room, I experienced one of the beautiful nights in my life. I was falling asleep by the roar of the sea.
January 31, 2021. Sunday.
I woke up in the early morning and had my breakfast on the beach. It was Sunday, and I had a morning meeting with my CEO, CFO, VP-Strategy, and Financial Analyst. I joined the meeting over zoom. This COVID-19 pandemic taught us to work remotely. I have experienced my first work from the sea today. It was a 2 hours long meeting, and I had to return by 3 PM from Saint Martin to Teknaf on the same day.
After having my lunch, I sat on my seat on the ship and was thinking how confidence can make us better in our life.
Confidence makes us better. Be confident.
It is better not to talk about what confidence is rather why confidence is essential. Confidence can redesign the world as we imagine. Confidence is a revolutionary choice. The world teaches us to be less confident; this is not how we began. Most of us were born in a family where family gives confidence, but we start to be less confident when we came out of that family. Reasons of identity, economic reasons, reasons of geography, grounds of gender and gender, etc, make us less confident. The world teaches us either who we are will be punished or celebrated. Helping young people to recognize their assets already they have is helping to grow confidence among them. Confidence is building in the community. We learn most or most little confidence from the folks we model ourselves, the persons permit us to be curious about ourselves world around us.
When you are not confident, then start to fake that you are confident and then gradually be confident; this has been practising nowadays. But if you can’t understand your worth, then it’s not effective to fake confidence. This is important to understand your worth as a human. So trying to build confidence in ourselves helps us to be better. Be confident. I don’t believe in the concept of “fake it unless you make it”.
When I reached Teknaf, that was evening. I hired transport and arrived at Cox’s with one and a half hour. Met Rasel Bhai in his apartment. The temperature was about 17 degrees. It was cold there. We had dinner together and a long-pending addabazi. I booked my flight to Dhaka for the next day at 1:30 PM.
February 01, 2021. Monday.
I had some pending official tasks from the last day. Woke up early in the morning today, and I had my breakfast in a lovely cafe (Salt) nearby Rasel Bhai’s apartment. I finished my pending tasks and replied to a few emails. I took coffee, and yes, that was my favourite hazelnut nut latte for sure. I loved this place to work. I had to go to the airport. So, got back to the apartment and started for the airport.
Flight delayed for an hour. I was sitting in the airport and thinking ‘how stress management can make us better?’
I’m feeling stressed to write about stress! Hahaha, kidding. Stress kills us, na? But, to me, stress is good! Stress is not a bug but kind of a feature in ourselves. We can change it by the way we think. Generally, people are not like stress, but it depends on the context, like Pople love to have stress when they are in love or roller coaster.
Again, stress is not bad, but we need to have a stress response mechanism in ourselves. This is important. Instead of avoiding stress, better to accept it, better to believe you can handle this. We should accept our feelings, figure out why and what matters most, use positive energy.
We have started for Dhaka by 2:30 PM. I got a very romantic couple beside me on the plane. Well, get back to the stress, hahaha.
Recently, I’ve heard a podcast on stress management. There a specialist was saying about stress management that let’s biochemistry take the actions. Hormone oxidation relives when we hug someone closer, and that helps to reduce stress. Oxidation is a stress hormone. When it releases, it is motivating us to seek supports in stress response. Stress hormone strengthening the heart. Our stress response mechanism has built for stress resilience. We all have stress habit, sort of left unchecked. We all have different level of stresses. Our basic personality traits are not negatively affected by stress rather learning from stress or experiences. It’s not about how good or bad someone at pressure rather sensitive to the biological mechanism.
We have to learn from experiences. Should be able to deal with side effects of stress. It’s part of life. It makes human being to be able to grow better. Fundamental of stress is who we are as human, how we learn and grow and also how we connect with others, so all take it. So, don’t get stressed; instead, try to build a stress response mechanism in yourself. Trust me, stress is not bad!
We landed safely. It was a good afternoon in Dhaka.
Life needs expansion, so please don’t stop that, don’t get stuck. When we are thinking about our life and surroundings, we find a lot of things to change. This is normal. This happens over time. Don’t look for quick changes. It takes time to be better always. First, slow fix: identity what area you need to change in your life and understand your situation. For example, when I was returning from the airport to my home, I was thinking. Instead of random coffee meeting in the restaurant, I will ask/ invite people for a walking meeting when I walk in the evening. Walk and talk. And I believe this will help me to be better to some extent.
This was another solo trip from Dhaka to Saint Martin when I thought about how to be better as a person. Every solo trip helps me to find myself; it was not different. One of the best parts of this trip was, I’ve worked from sea, ship, beach, cafe, and plane. It was a good practice indeed, ha ha ha. BTW, I am not here to make you agree with all of my thoughts, but this would help you think further, hopefully.
